Planning for and celebrating Joseph's funeral was incredibly healing for us. We chose to celebrate the funeral with the daily mass readings for the day of his funeral 12.22.12, which applied perfectly. Thus, the universal church prayed with us on that day. We were so touched and beyond blessed to celebrate with 8 Priests and countless others who were impacted by Joseph's life. By popular demand, for those of you who were unable to attend and those who were there but wish to revisit the Mass, following is the Funeral Mass program and video clips of some highlights of the beautiful celebration..... Enjoy!
“Faith
grows when it is lived as an experience of love received and when it is
communicated as an experience of grace and joy. It makes us fruitful, because
it expands our hearts in hope and enables us to bear life-giving witness.”
Pope Benedict XVI, Porta Fidei, On The Year of Faith
December 22, 2012
St. Mark Church
Catonsville, Maryland
____________________________________________
“The way to love anything is to
realize that it may be lost.” -GK
Chesterton
“America you are beautiful . . . and blessed .
. . . The ultimate test of your greatness is the way you treat every human
being, but especially the weakest and most defenseless. If you want equal
justice for all and true freedom and lasting peace, then America, defend
life." -Pope John Paul II
“Each
child is sent into this world by God with a "Unique Message" to
deliver, a new personal act of love to bestow"... - John Powell, S.J.,
“A person’s a person, no matter how small.” -Dr. Seuss
"For
you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb." Psalm
139:13
"Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you; before you were born I
sanctified you."Jeremiah 1:5
"I was cast upon thee from the womb; thy art my God from my mother's
belly" Psalm 22:10
“I will never forget you. See upon the
palms of my hands I have engravedyou.”Isaiah 49:15-16
“To
those without faith, death is the enemy, but to those who believe, Heaven is
the ultimate goal.”-unknown
“One
who hopes lives differently.” -Pope
Benedict XVI
In those days, Hannah brought Samuel with her, along with
a three-year-old bull, an ephah of flour, and a skin of wine, and presented him
at the temple of the Lord in Shiloh. After the boy's father had sacrificed the
young bull, Hannah, his mother, approached Eli and said: “Pardon, my lord! As
you live, my lord, I am the woman who stood near you here, praying to the Lord.
I prayed for this child, and the Lord granted my request. Now I, in turn, give
him to the Lord; as long as he lives, he shall be dedicated to the Lord." She
left Samuel there.
Responsorial Psalm
Better is
One Day by Matt Redman
R:Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere
How lovely is Your dwelling place, Oh
Lord Almighty
My soul longs and even faints for You
For here my heart is satisfied, within Your presence
I sing beneath the shadow of Your wings.R.
One thing I ask, and I would seek, to see Your beauty,
To find You in the place Your glory dwells.R.
My heart and flesh cry out,
For You the living God
Your Spirit's water for my soul
I've tasted and I've seen,
Come once again to me.
I will draw near to You.
I will draw near to you.
"My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord;
my spirit rejoices in God my savior.
for he has looked upon his lowly servant.
From this day all generations will call me blessed:
the Almighty has done great things for me,
and holy is his Name.
He has mercy on those who fear him
in every generation.
He has shown the strength of his arm,
and has scattered the proud in their conceit.
He has cast down the mighty from their thrones
and has lifted up the lowly.
He has filled the hungry with good things,
and the rich he has sent away empty.
He has come to the help of his servant Israel
for he remembered his promise of mercy,
the promise he made to our fathers,
to Abraham and his children for ever."
Mary remained with Elizabeth about three months
and then returned to her home.
Carol
Gravess Cindy Mohler s Jill Graves s Katie Mohler
Communion Hymns
O Come All Ye Faithful by John Francis Wade
O come all ye faithful joyful and triumphant
Oh come ye O come ye to Bethlehem; come and behold him born the King of angels;
O come let us adore Him, O come let us adore
Him, O come let us adore him Christ the Lord.
Sing choirs of angels sing in exultation sing all ye citizens
of heaven above; glory to God in the highest: O come, let us adore him, Christ
the Lord.
I Can Only
Imagine by Mercy Me
I can only imagine what it will
be like
When I walk by Your side.
I can only imagine what my eyes will see
When Your face is before me
I can only imagine
Chorus:
Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for You Jesus or in awe of you be still ?
Will I stand in Your presence or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine
I can only imagine
I can only imagine when that day comes
And I find myself standing in the sun
I can only imagine when all I will do
Is forever, forever worship You
I can only imagine
I can only imagine
Chorus
There are not words for us to express our gratitude to all of
you for all your love, prayers and support over the past several months. Not
only is Joseph’s life story about our love for him, a story about the strength
that faith brings, and a story about trust in God’s will, it is a story about
our friends and family who stood by us through it all. His life could not have
touched so many without your prayers, God’s grace and the Holy Spirit working
through not only us as his parents but all of you.
As parents we believe our primary responsibility is to lead
our children to heaven, thus Joseph’s life, though short, fulfilled our
ultimate goal.In the hour Joseph was
with us on Earth he experience only joy and love.
Joseph,
We love you and you will always be a part of our family.
Though your body was not perfect, your soul is. You have taught us all more
lessons about life and love than many who have lived long full lives. “you are
my son with whom I am well pleased (Mark 1:11).” Joseph, pray for us.
Gratefully, with Love and Prayers,
Jenny and John
In lieu of gifts, flowers, etc. please consider helping other
moms and babies in need with a donation in Joseph’s honor to The Northwest
Center, Maternity Home and Pregnancy Center Programs in Washington, DC http://www.northwestcenter.net/
All Music and lyrics reprinted with permissionCCLI License
#1916063
"Beloved, let us love one another, because love is of God; everyone who loves is begotten by God and knows God... for God is Love." 1 John 4:7-8
"(Joseph's life) so touched my heart that it would change my life forever. For the first time in my life I observed what unconditional love is and learned how to give thanks in all circumstances." Dr Huang, Anesthesiologist, Sinai Hospital
On the day of Joseph’s birth, we
met Dr. Ligang Huang, the Anesthesiologist who would be caring for me during
the Caesarean Section. Dr. Huang was so moved by her witness of Joseph’s life
that she wrote a beautiful, very personal essay about her experience and has
shared it with us. I am humbled and blessed to share some excerpts of her essay
with you now. She she shares her experience from a perspective of one who met
Joseph and was deeply touched by his brief life. We are so thankful for her
account….. She writes….
“I
have been an anesthetist for eight years and I’ve lost count of the times I’ve
done anesthesia for caesarean sections. Many times I celebrated the birth of a
new life. Sometimes I was saddened to see some premature babies requiring
intubation sent to the neonatal intensive care unit. A few times, the fetus had
already died in vivo, and I mourned with the moms. Over all these years of
providing obstetrics anesthesia, I either celebrated the new births, or
lamented for the lives lost. There was never a time to celebrate and mourn,
feel joyful and sorrow at the same time. Last week, one of the caesarean
sections transcended this dichotomy. It so touched my heart that it would
change my life forever. For the first time in my life I observed what
unconditional love is and learned how to give thanks in all circumstances.
Preoperatively we were informed that
the fetus had Thanatophoric Dysplasia, the term means death bearing in Greek.
This is a very rare genetic disorder due to one single gene’s mutation. The
fetus’ skeletal system is severely affected, as a result of it, the thorax is
extremely short and small, and the lungs fail to develop. Many fetuses die in
the wombs, and a few who survive to birth will soon die due to respiratory
failure. Knowing this, all the people at the labor and delivery unit showed
extra consideration to the patient Jenny and her husband John. I had a brief
conversation with them during the preoperative interview. They looked quite
calm, though a hint of sadness was observable.
Technically
this C-Section was no different from other Caesareans. My student did a spinal
anesthesia for Jenny…. Then the obstetricians started the surgery. I saw John
holding a small bag with blue-flower print. I asked him what it was for. He
said it contained a small water bottle and other baptism supplies. Soon the
baby was delivered. He only cried twice in a weak voice, then stopped.
She goes on to describe the surgery
and Joseph’sappearance and states
Then John walked over
to him, disregarded the baby’s physical appearance, gently said to him: “Joe,
Joe, dad is here, mommy is here. We both love you, but Jesus loves you even
more. Happy birthday!” He talked to the baby as if this child was a healthy,
vibrant, handsome boy, a noble prince.
She describes Joseph being handed to John and him cutting
the umbilical cord, and states she was so touched when she heard John say something like...
“Although you are not perfect in appearance, you are whole. In the eyes
of the Lord Jesus, you are whole. ” I did not know how many people in the room
understood what he just said, yet I wasshocked
and touched. The baby was motionless, did not breathe. A little bit light of
life in his eyes gradually dimmed, the color of his face became more and more
pale and dusky. John held the baby to Jenny’s bedside, his hand stroking the
child's little hand.Then this young
couple started singing hymns and praying together. One of the hymns was Jesus
the King of Kings. John looked at the baby tenderly, kissed his little face,
touched his little fingers. As he was kissing, he choked with singing……From
time to time he kissed his wife, holding her hand to comfort her….Jenny's
abdomen was being stitched….. She suppressed her own discomfort, turned her
head toward Joe and kissed him. At last, this couple’s hands locked together
holding the baby. They sang to him so gently as if singing lullabies. Such
tenderness, passion and love overwhelmed me. I had never seen something like
this in my entire life. Everyone’s eyes were wet.
I
stood next to John, not knowing what to say. All the words in the world seemed
inadequate. In the intense light of their love for the baby and for each other,
all words become feeble. The only thing I could do was to give a couple of
gauzes to John to wipe his tears. My nurse anesthetist picked up John’s camera
and took hundreds of pictures. They
did not despise the baby for his appearance, nor reject him because he did not
do anything for them in return.They
loved him unconditionally, the way he was, not expecting any reward. They had
known that this child's life might last just a few minutes, and he would never
become a Dr. Successful to bring them glory. Yet they still loved him. They
knew that this child would not even smile, or cry, or respond to their love,
but they still loved him tenderly. They loved him, because he was created by
God with the breath of life. They loved him in awe and fear of God, and
accepted the gift from God humbly and gratefully. They loved him, because Jesus
loves us unconditionally.God has chosen
us, not depending on our cute appearances, talents, wealth, intelligence or
innocence. There is not a single righteous man in the world, all people have
sinned. …..Yet Jesus still accepts us
just the way we are. He even willingly came to this world to be crucified for
our sins! Oh,
Jesus, Lord Jesus! As Christmas is coming, in the peak business time of the
year, people are busy buying gifts, installing lights to decorate for the
holiday; they seem to forget the true meaning of Christmas. The holiday is
anything but a time for more fun and happiness. But what is the source of
happiness? If Christmas is not focused on the Lord Jesus Christ, why do we
celebrate Christmas then? At this season of celebration, how I am grateful for
Jesus’ incarnation 2,000 years ago. If he did not come, we would have no future
to look forward to. We would not know what unconditional and selfless love is.
If he did not resurrect, we would not be able to receive His new life for
eternity. The true meaning of Christmas is not about commemorating the birth of
a child, but rather to commemorate the Word became flesh, the King of kings’
incarnation. Now God's love shines its radiance from within this young couple.
In
contrast, how many of us appreciate the lives God has given to us? How often do
we offer thanksgiving when we wake up every morning, realizing that we are able
to breathe? How often do we count our blessings before we go to bed at night?
We don’t cherish the children God has given us. We often think the children are
our own properties. We treat them as machines and demand them to perform
exactly as we desire. We scold them when they are not sensible. When they don’t
know how to handle things, we do not have the patience to teach them. When
their academic performances do not meet our expectation, we belittle them. We
speak harsh words to them. We think that we love them, but often we love the
illusions in our minds. We plan for their future professions, but we do not
think it worthy to bring them back to God. Do we ever appreciate our children
solely on the basis of their being created in image of God? We have seen too
much violence, selfishness, greed, and indifference around us. In fact, our
love is selfish and conditional. We really do not know what true love is, and
do not know how to love others.
John
was well aware of the feelings and emotion of his wife. At this moment of
suffering, he did not even think about himself, but held out his hand to
console his wife. He did not even bother to wipe his own tear but reach out for
her..... He kissed his wife affectionately. He did not blame his wife for the
child's deformity nor turn any anger (if there was any) toward her. And Jenny
meekly accepted her husband's love and care… How many couples can share the
bitterness and sweetness of life together? How many couples can face trials of
all kinds from heart- to- heart?.....
She goes on to say…. In
the past two decades, I have watched magnificent choirs, have listened to hymns
of all kinds, but none has moved me like this couple’s. Although this choir had
only two persons, their voices trembling, songs with broken sentences, without
musical instruments for accompaniment, but I dare say it played the most
beautiful music in the whole world, and offered the most moving praise to the
Lord, because they sang from the bottom of their own hearts. How
would parents feel when they watch their child's life gradually slipping away?
How would they feel when they celebrate the coming of a new life and have to
bid that life farewell at the same time? How is it supposed to be when joy
mixed with sorrow?How wrenched are
parents’ hearts in the loss of their own child? Is there any trial in life
greater than this? What is the strength that holds John and Jenny up? What is
the secret that lets them sing praise while their hearts are broken? The answer
comes from the faith which is rooted in the foundation of Jesus Christ. This
couple’s faith is not merely intellectual faith or knowledge, or verbal
profession. Their faith comes from the gospel of Christ.They knew that this child, though his life
was short,would not be subjected to
suffering any more, for he was now at a more beautiful palace, where there is
no death, no disease, no pain, no crying. He rested in the embrace of the Lord
Jesus.
The
apostle James said: “Consider it pure joy,
my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds.” (James1:2) Many people
think that it is just intellectual joy, and in reality no one can do so during
suffering. But this couple proves that it is attainable to be joyful when one
suffers. Their joy comes from the promise of Jesus Christ, from their faith in
the words of the Lord. Yes they were sad, but more joy in the hope of seeing
their beloved Joe in heaven again later. Praises mingled with tears has great power to
touch people’s hearts.
Jenny
told me that they had known the diagnosis when she was in her nineteenth week
of pregnancy. But they did not want an abortion, for they believe that life is
a gift from God and God alone has the right to take it back.“The
Lord has given, and the Lord has taken away. May the name of the Lord be
praised.” (Job 1:21) Each day they would hug the baby in the belly while
waiting for him to grow more. Their love for him got stronger and
stronger.Did they complain against God
about the baby’s deformity? Did they blame unfair fate? Were they angry or
upset? No. They chose thanksgiving and gratitude instead. With tears Jenny told
me that she was very grateful, for she had not expected the baby to live more
than a few minutes, but God gave them one hour to love him! Joe was born at
9:40 am and passed away at 10:40 am. Within this short period of time, Joe was
baptized with water, held by his four grandparents, and hugged by his big
sister. They wanted to give him nothing but love. What is the concept of one
hour? … They thanked God for giving them far more than their expectation! I
just could not believe my ears to hear her saying that. Do we ever thank God
for each hour of our life? In 24 hours each day, how often do we give the due
thanksgiving to God for being able to take a breath? We often take God’s
blessings for granted, and we still complain! We really do not know how to be
grateful.
This
C-section experience will not only transform me, but also transform many
people. Love, transcending time, space and circumstances, is the power of
melting icy hearts. Thus love comes from God, for God is love. (1 John 4:8)
I will never forget you. See upon the palms of my hands I have engraved you -Isaiah 49: 15-16
Singing Christmas Carols while Joseph meets his sister
Our little Angel
Dear Friends,
In this beautiful season of Advent, we welcome the Newborn King who came so that we might all have eternal life. Today our family welcomed our little angel, Joseph Angelo Mohler, born this morning at 9:40am. He left our arms and entered into our heavenly Father's at 10:40. During his time, we baptized him, prayed with him, sang songs including Christmas carols and held him. He was even able to meet all four grandparents and Aunt Katie. He knew only love and joy in his short life.
We are forever grateful to all of you for your support, love and prayers throughout our pregnancy. We will keep you posted on upcoming services and celebrations. A funeral mass will be held Saturday the 22nd at 10am at St. Marks in Catonsville and burial at New Cathedral Cemetary, a place very special to John's family, will follow. We would love to see any of you that would like to join us.
We are humbled and honored by your outpouring of gifts and flowers for us. We ask now instead, that you consider making a donation in honor of Joseph Angelo to The Northwest Pregnancy Center and Maternity Home in DC(http://www.northwestcenter.net/) to help other moms and babies in need, and continue to bring meaning to his life.
Sending much love to you all. We will provide you with more updates and details in the near future.
“Come to me all you
who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and
learn from me, for I am gentle and humble at heart, and you will find rest for
your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden light.”- Matthew 11: 28-30
“The difficult times
we fear are the very ones that can break us open and help us blossom into who we
were meant to be.” -Elizabeth Lesser as
quoted by Mother Katherine Caldwell, TOR
“You can plan a
pretty picnic, but you can’t predict the weather” -Andre 3000
“Do your best and let God do the rest” –Dr. Ben Carson
I have a significant, yet at the same time
insignificant, update to share this week…. Angel Marie, we are told, is
actually a boy! We were preliminarily told this last month and had it confirmed
last Monday at our appointment. While it doesn’t really matter to us, it has been
harder than I thought it would be to wrap my head around this news. We realize
“the devil is in the details,” and are not letting this distract us from sharing,
focusing on, and loving our child. We have thus given him a new name, Joseph Angelo. The name Angelo (and Angel) literally means
“messenger from God” and His message of love is clear. As Father DeAscanis
shared with us at spiritual direction last month, Angels, after all, don’t have
gender.
Furthermore, at our appointment with the specialist this
week, we learned that my amniotic fluid levels are increasing as Joe is having
a difficult time swallowing and processing the fluid. This means that I will
continue to get bigger, faster, and ultimately this may trick my body into
thinking I am closer to term than I actually am, potentially causing little
Joseph to arrive soon. Please continue to pray. I can assure you it is working,
I know I could not be managing (and thankfully don’t have to be) on my own. “Where
I am weak He is strong.”
For someone who is a planner, and a perfectionist,
one who always has to be in control, (affectionately, type A if you will), I
have learned many lessons in letting go and lessons in trust over the past few
months…. And yes, this is probably the one and only blog in the world that
quotes, Outkast, Dr. Carson and a TOR Sister in one post….I am learning so much about myself, my
incredible husband, and my wonderful family and friends in all of this.
Certainly, how we react to the storms of adversity, rather than the good times,
is what defines us. In life, I have found, there really are few times when we
have absolutely no control over situations and when life begins and ends is at
the top of the list (though many even try to “control” this and do, what I
believe, only God has the authority to do). Our culture/society does not know
how to handle these times. My family is thus experiencing/witnessing both of
these battles at once, and the struggle is thus particularly intense. There is
no way to prepare for both your child to come into this world and leave it,
potentially within a matter of minutes of each other.
I can not say enough about how thankful we are for
our faith and that we don’t have to go through this alone. We are prayerfully making
the choices we have been offered believing in His will, and giving the rest to
God. Anyway, more on suffering and redemptive love in the next post. Before I
close, I would like to share a beautiful testimony with you that has inspired
us and helped us prepare for what lies ahead. We are inspired by the beauty and grace this couple received while
expecting the unexpected. Click on the link below to watch at your own risk, and have some tissues on hand
if you choose to do so (do not watch at work, trust me).
“Not a pulpit, not a slick presentation, not a best selling book, just a 6 lb boy with Trisomy 18, God found great pleasure to take a lowly thing in the eyes of the world and show truth…. At your funeral we released 99 balloons, each balloon representing a day in your life, how beautiful it was to watch, how quickly they were gone. -Elliot’s Father
“Give thanks to the Lord for He is good, His love endures forever.” Psalm 118:1
“Therfore, we who are receiving the unshakable kingdom should have gratitude, with which we should offer worship pleasing to God in reverence and awe. For our God is a consuming fire.”Hebrews 12: 28-29
Thankful for my family (27 weeks pregnant) Photo Courtesy of Andrea Mellen Photography NILMDTS
Thankful for my family (27 weeks pregnant) Photo Courtesy of Andrea Mellen Photography NILMDTS
The entire fam in Greenville, South Carolina, 26 weeks pregnant
Thanksgiving Day 2012 at my parent's house (nearly 28 weeks) So much to be thankful for
This Thanksgiving, more than ever before, I am
thankful for the gifts of faith, family and friends. I am thankful for our
Angel and the lessons our little one is teaching us. I am thankful for
all those who have contacted us whose lives have been touched by our story. I
am thankful for all the support I have, for our wonderful Doctors, Isaiah’s
Promise and Gilchrist Hospice. I am thankful most of all, for the gift of life
in all its forms. I am thankful for today, for this day and every day I have
with our little one. I am thankful that at our last visit with the specialist
we were told our baby has a better chance of surviving till birth than was
first expected and I was allowed to travel to South Carolina. We had a great
trip.
I am thankful for God the Father and the examples of
Mary and Joseph. How thankful I am to pray to a God of the Universe who knows
the pain of losing His Son to this world, and the joy of the promise of Heaven
and knowing He will live forever. How thankful I am for the intercession of
Mary and Joseph, who during this season, carried their unborn Son, expecting
the unexpected.
I must admit, I sat down to write this post before
and did not feel very grateful. I had to pray about it and come back. Recently,
creating a birth plan full of very difficult choices regarding life saving
measures and interventions as well as making preparations to potentially bury
our child is one of the most difficult things I have ever done. Being thankful
and choosing life is truly a choice. We understand we have not taken the easy
road. There are days when I choose fear, anxiety, selfishness, self-pity or grief.
We are only human, sure I am sad for myself and the pain we are enduring, but
then I make a better choice, and choose our faith, and trust that our baby will
go straight to heaven and experience eternal joy.Eternal joy sure sounds much better than a life
here on earth, so we choose gratefulness over sadness.
I spent a day this week at The Northwest Center, (a
pregnancy center and maternity home for those in need in DC, that I have been involved with for nearly nine years).Whenever I go there, I am reminded of those
who are less fortunate than I. Those who don’t have a loving husband, and
family and friends to support them, those who might be in poor health, have
little resources, no homes to call their own, no big Thanksgiving dinner, and
little money to buy diapers, or access the best prenatal care.Yet these moms and their children choose life
and choose joy as well… They inspire me, and help me realize what is important,
what really matters…. and I am grateful for all I have. I am thankful for the
families served at NWC, for those close to my heart who serve them, and those who make the
lifesaving work of The Northwest Center possible.
Finally, John and I are beyond thankful for the
support of our church in all its forms. John wrote a thank you letter to
Archbishop William Lori of Baltimore this week sharing our story, offering to
help others in our situation.We are so
blessed with the wonderful support system we have received from the church we
love so much. He wrote “What a blessing to have our church to walk with
us on this journey, loving this life that began at conception, now 29 weeks
ago.”
